Life.
wats life. some ppl take a lifetime to search for the answer. some ppl dont even give a damn what is it all about. but i have learnt something new in life. never take anything or anyone for granted. cos life is simply precious. u wont get it back once u loose it.wats death. some ppl take take their full lifetime to achieve. meaning dying old. some ppl dont. meaning they die at an early stage maybe caused by an illness. each living thing on this planet earth will encounter death one day. not sure wether its gonna be tomoro or 50 years later.
i just lost a fren. a best fren. patners in singing. patners in music. patners on and off stage. patners in not sleeping one for whole nite and talking crap. patners in going out to anywhere each of us wanted to go even if we dont noe where to go next. known him for 7 years. 7 years. was close to him. very close. he passed away becase of an ilness named the 'metastatic germ cell tumour'. passed away on the 23rd of July 2004 1138 hours.
he left many sweet memories behind. can always see him smiling down to me everyday from the sky. its too spacious without him now. his name is always at the tip of my toungue. always at his hse and sometimes mine. laff off just about pratically anything. supported me in evrything i do. was by his side all the way through since he first got the illness.
was there the whole thurs noon when i found out he was in critical condition. beside me him. he was weak. eyes were half shut and half open most of the time. breathing hard.evening time i went to PA (peoples association) for some stupid show's rehearsal. was on my way back home around 2200 that same day. wan called me up and said his sister was crying. his sister said he called me and wan's name. shouting our name in pain wanting us back that nite to be by his side. i switched train. lucky enough to cath the last train towards outram park mrt station. upon reaching there i ran to his ward. found him breathing even harder. little response.
did not sleep a wink. kept looking at him breathing hard even with the oxygen mask on. each breath he took my heart ached. cos i knew he was going. doc gave him 4 more hours to live at 1030 friday morning. was holding his hands at 1130 beside his family and all. wispered in his hear. his eyes were opened but too weak to respond. tears rolled down his cheeks as i started asking for forgiveness. 1135, one by one, his other friends started wispering to him. 1138, his last breath.... slow last breath. he went off peacefully.for the first time in my life, i saw my good fren of seven years not breathing........... and eyes never to be opened ever again. i broke down. broke down pretty hard. doc said 4 hours. 4 fucking hours. but he only survived 1 and 1/2 hours. some ppl who rushed from work and all dint get to see him alive for the last time. yeah i have never trusted doctor's timing. never will.
msg here is i lost a fren. a dear good fren. no one noes how i feel because no one noes exactly how close am i to him. ppl, pls love ur surroundings- be it ur frens, families or whoever u really love. mite neva noe hu is next going next. scary but true. just happened to me a week ago. and its still fresh in my mind....
Azman bin Rahmat (1984-2004)
God loves u more than i do.
will be missing u.
love u bro.
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