DAMN!
damn my heart is aching man.. haha.. im totally scared about this sunday.. sometimes just cant sleep at nite and being sick made it worse.. i dunno how are we as a team going to get through this sunday. it will be hard. but i hope it will be our best. and hope nothing can be our obstacle along the way. ive been feeling shity right this few days so pls forgive me to those ive been talking roughly with. those who are close to me u all shud noe y.
apart from that my mind is totally on this sunday i dunno y. i just dont know y. one of my friends asked me y shud i be afraid when i have performed bigger shows than this. ya... bigger shows.. esplanade and evrything. im not so afraid of the audience. just afraid my team will screw up. and worst, me screw on the stage. that has been the worst fear for me evrytime i perform. and some more this one is national competition. freaks me sometimes. actually im too excited maybe..but im gonna be cool bout it. do my best and all... just hoping for the best.
hmmm just realise that fasting month is nearing and and is less than two weeks~~ oh my.. damn fast u noe. it feels like as though its was only 3 month ago that i scrubbed my toilet squicky clean.. haha! now fasting again.. hope can loose alot of weight. and have to paint my house and all that get baju kurung. wah.. hope to really have a HAPPY raya this time round. haha ok im dreaming its not even fasting yet and im thinking about hari raya.. for those people who tinks im happy.. actually im not.. im just being very very very crazy ... if im quiet means im too tired. hahah ok before i get crazier ill stop here.
anyway damn i missed BEYONCE's concert on tv on tuesday night due to training. DAMN DAMN DAMN... *gone to asylum*
sorry..
i feel so sorry i dunno y.. to my frens my family and i think my near future which is next oming sunday. i just feel i am not working hard enuff and there is no inspiration for me. evrytime i work hard for my frens my family will be affected. when i work for family school will be neglcted. i need to manage my time well starting a.s.a.p if not evrything will go haywire. but family has so far been the most neglected.. sorry mama. anyway im not a robot rite. so to ppl using me have fun doing so till u cant use me no more aite.
thats all for today. going luch now. im in such a loss. i dunno y. just feeling crappy.
StresssssssssssssssssssSSs..
wah gang long time never blog. so caught up with my bz schedule i forgot that i had a blog. so many things happened the past week. i dunno which one to tell u guys. but oh well ill start with something that happenned today.
today someone who i called "Che Ali" passed away this morning. he was the MAEC Chairman in Bukit timah CC. i was from there. so i knew him. he is also my friends father. i have mixed emotions in me now. this year seems to be the year that alot of people i knew passed away. one of them my close friend. i dunno y but it seems to me that this year is what i call "death" year. and its not even end of the year. scary for me. anyone might go next. just a matter of time. dunno when is mine.....
ok enough of those stuff. hmm last week the gerls and guys junior group had competition. me and zull so stressed up teaching them. really2 stressed up. they dint win.. sad fact. i expected the gerls to win cos they were great. but again im not the judge. there is always a next time. now is my teams turn. we have the FINALS. oh my that word really2 scares me cos i only created like 1/10 of the set. alot more to go in just 3 weeks. i dunno how are we going to survive. the opening of the whole event is done by Imran my team's choreographer. t shirt we have to make that Stephen is helping me to design this very moment. hmmm alot of things to do in less than 3 weeks. actually 2 weeks. very short time indeed. but im gonna do it. something just spurred me on yesterday. Azman wrote a letter before he died and his mother came down to the cc and gave me that letter in person. she cried and said that maybe those words can help encourage ourselves to go further and beyond than we already are. i was speechless when his mother gave me that letter crying. his sister's cried upon seeing their mother shedding tears. i was just speechless. maybe they just miss him too much. i did too but i dint show it cos it would just make his mum cry more. so i just smiled and said thank you. she passed me some money to be shared by the team. it was Azman's insurance money which came in yesterday and she said she would only feel right if she gave us a little of the total money. i thanked her for that.
im just gonna bz so caught up with this that i have no time to spend for my fanily. just 3 more weeks and that the end of teh torture. the results is another thing. family.. hmm something cropped up at home today. my younger brother did something in school today. he disapoints me.. alot.. now i know how my mum feels when i was naughty last time. haha.. but i think my brother is worst... i am gonna do something to him tonite that will get into that big head of his. so sick this few days because of the weather. so hazy and i dunno how to explain. ok im tired of typing.
to people who thinks im ignoring them for watever reason. i hope after reading this entry of mine u ppl would understand what im going through. i have a lot of responsibility. and if i do something wrong or skip something which im suppose to do then i will surely be in hot soup. im the type of person which is not remembered for the good thing ive done but always for the mistakes i did..i think..
haha ok before i carry on babling nonsense i better stop here. till next time folks. have a fun time in your own world. -gone-
AhhhhHHH.......
Long time no blog huh. haha~ kinda bz and my newly "virginated" com at home dont seem allowing me to blog. technical problems. F that. anyway saturday had dinner show for the same wedding that was going to take place for 5 hours. 5 damn long hours of tradional music can make you sick to the core i tell you. haha~ and some of my mates dint sleep that saturday nite so it was kinda tough for us to last for 5 hours but we did it! haha.. money came in after the show.. nice u would think. but then yesterday my outgoing was cut so had to pay using the shows money that i just got. so sad.....
yesterday dint go werk was too damn tired cos of the shows and something else... ok. so i msg Stephen late morning telling him im too tired to go to werk and he understood. then an hour later Da en called me adn said aaron wanted to see us 4 at his office at that moment. i was like oh my god.. how to reach skool in five minutes?? dont tell me take cab again.. money fly again.. adn even if i took the cab it'll take me like at least half an hour to reach skool. i was panicking like hell but my voice stayed calm.. AND THEN.. Da en said it was only a PRANK! my god i nearly had a heart attack on monday morning... ok lah fair lah.. the other day i played a similar prank on her.. but dont u worry i'll get back at you... MUHAHAhaha
ok problems at the CC i have solved halfway and now is finishing the gerls set. its tough u noe when u only have one brain and one voice box and u need to cater to 20 people needs... hmm.. but i always take that as a challenge. to day i might be going down to CC or OMS i hanet decie yet cos as some of u noe im very the fickle minded.. so ya..
yesterday went out with my De`lima frens to Seoul Garden to have one of the most filling dinners in my entire life. i ate like A PIG~ a real god damn mud bathing PIG~ u noe y.. cos its FREE! haha.. 2nd aniversary mah.. so we use our fund money and evryone ate like neva before... and can u all try and imagine when ur totally full to the extend ur staomach is bloated and someone made u laff like hell.. my stomach felt like bursting into thousand little pieces. haha.. but was fun.. and filling.. and best of all yesterday i dint come out one single cent... haha shiok.. k lah till next time ppl toodles..~ need to go smoke break and F off from this skool//
Mag blast!
Mag blast is a card game where i always tought were for people who had no life and sit with a bunch of freinds who had nothing to do and spent alot of money on card games. two days back me and my "work" friends were so bored at ideas centre when stephen took out his cards and taught us how to play Mag blast. oh my it was hard to understand the game at first but as time went by i started to get the whole game and even was keen to beat "Mighty" Stephen... haha! Sharifah joined us later and she beat Stephen at his own game... my god was she lucky. first time lucky i guess. haha.. but m keen to beat both of them one day. im not the type who watch cartoon and play games or card games type of person but that thing is damn fun i tell you. haha ok maybe iom exagerating..
these few days i keep smiling like an idiot i dont know why. one thing is because my face appeared on my schools anual report book. the book is so damn bloody thick. ok let me start form what happened yesterday morning. i woke up with a terrible lower back pain i dont know how i got it. and so i msg Stephen saying that i wont be coming to work lah cos its really painful. then i think about ten minutes later he called me up and said that Mr Bernie(our horrendous supervisor a.k.a Mr Plant) wanted to see al four of us at 11 am. and that time he called me was i think 10.30 am. wow.. how was i suppose to reach skool in half an hours time with the fact that i just woke up. i quickly bathed and took a cab to school.. NB! WASTE 12 BUCKS.. aiyo.. i could have spent it like wacthing a movie or something. heh! then when i reached corporate comunication (my "company") Bernie told us to check wether there was any mistake in the staff member name list on that book. the names ah was so small and my eyes nearly went kuku checking all the names. 1500 names u noe.. but ok lah we divided into 4 people. haha after that i search through the whole book and say my face... two pages of them FULL page i tell you.. one with Sharifah and the other with students from other courses.. but of course i am not as photogenic as them but what they heck! tell me how many times can u appear on two pages of the school annual report magazine/book! that really made my day! cant wait to get a copy of that book. hehe
yesterday was a smiling tiring day for me. although i dint quite like some things that happened to me around midnite. but nevertheless it was nice meeting my aunty after such a long time. ok some people do make me really happy and i like that alot but some people just make me so down. i hate to be down in mood cos i really think i will affect those around me... my innocent friends and family.. they have to put up with my long face. so pls understand.hmm k i'll stop there..
this morning i woke up and received a happy? or should i say okok news.. i duno. but i myself wether to be satisfied with 2nd when i aimed for 1st or to be sad that i got 2nd and should motivate myslef much harder to be the best. i really want to be the best. ill be sad if i dont get the position i want. i think no one would noe what im talking about cos ill keep it to myself. maybe slowly i will tell the people who are close to me and knows what i am going to talk about.. but they just wont understand how i feel. nevermind... i will work hard. i must.
wah.. i think this is the longest blog i ever wrote. actually there is one more whole chunk of story about yesterday which i rather keep to myself.. thanks to the people that made me smile.. thanks alot! ok im hungry and im going to get something to bite. gone for now.. -gone-
