musikatology: August 2004

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Beautiful Moon

hmm i have never blog for 2 days consecutively but there is always a frist time for evrything right. hmm ok where should i start. ok yesterdays practise can say it was fun lah cos long time neva play with them. haha me and omar fool around with the beats of the song but we were still in tempo lah of course. was palyng my last song with them when somone msg me telling me how beautiful the moon was and yes it was damn beautiful last night. so bright so white so clear and just one strip of light coated cloud beside it. wah.. i stood there in amazment just looking at the moon.. even omar and aman stood there with me telling how beautiful it was. i have always admired the moon... how it can be there when the sun is still up although its suppose to appear at night, the different coulours it sometimes shine.. hmm.. of course lah got scientific explaination to all this but i don want to learn the definite answers cos then when i look at the moon i wont be amazed oredi..

hmm can say yesterday was and average day for me but i was smiling more then the previous days because of some situations. ill keep that to myself. sometimes i smile at the stupidness of omar, sometimes cuteness of someone falling from a chair at the coffeeshop and sometimes just smile because of people whom i think just plain nice and sweet to me. actually now i plan to write the longest blog ever but somehow i tend to speak more then write or type more. cos maybe i cannot type as fast as i speak ah that it. u see all these nonsense im blabbering are all considerd the number of words that is going into my latest blog entry~ LAYAN AR YED! ok ill top my nonsense here.

today however hapy i am, im still lookig forward to reading prayers for my dear fren Azman who is not here anymore with me tonite at his mums place. 40 days today since he is gone. so many events happened to me and how i just wish i could him tell him and make him smile. but sad fact -- he is gone. its been a long time since i wrote bout him cos i don wanna be sad and remind myself evryday that he is gone. like i always say evry single move i make could remind me of him when he was alive. to this day its hard to believe i cant call hima dn talk to him go out with him eat with him and make stupid bullshit jokes with him. hmm we are just to close. me him and wan. i really think when he as sick i was his closest fren although alot fo people where concerned about him still i was with him almost evryday. hmm what i always tell myself is that he is safe is God's hands and he will always be looking proudly at me and i will make him proud of me and my team...

ok lah enough of that sad note. i'll stop typing by saying i love everyone including YOU! fren2 only ar.. hah! k fanggulo people. -gone-

Monday, August 30, 2004

Yesterday

"yesterday.. all my troubles seem so far away".. hmm actually quite true. yesterday was quite "ok day" for me then problems and situations started pouring in on me. have to settle the problems one by one. have to go that way.

yesterday was tiring man. woke up early.. late lah actually for my practise at hairul's house. learnt a few songs here and there. quite hard actually these songs. today after werk got practise again at his house cos this weekend got 2 shows. saturday dinner show and sunday got 5 long hours show. wow for the first time delima is going to perform for 5 hours. pancit ah~ haha

ok lah actually im bored at werk today. thats y writing this blog. someone is bored too so i hope that person is reading this blog hehe~ promised myself to wake up at 7 today but in the end i woke up at 9. so late! no discipline! lazy!-- thats some people would say. but you would have to go through the boredome i go through everyday then you would know how i feel. sleeping and lazying aournd in my bed is much better..ok ok~~ ill stop complaining.

sometimes when i read people's blog there will be this "one part" whereby when i read or any other people read they wont understand.. only the owner would understand.
so here goes "my part".. sometimes in life i think i have found the answer but as i slowly learn about the answer, i would also slowly lose the understanding of it. the defination may be cruel but its just in me. cant do anything about it.well maybe thats my life and ill have to go on with it till the last day of my life. maybe something will change this fact of me but i doubt so. i hope something will change it but again..i doubt so. if it remains this way, evryone will still see a happy me.. but only from the outside.

ya.. so dont understand rite~ haha! told u oredi. only i me myself said bin amir alkatiri can understand all that carp... hehe suka suka suka~ ok lah i think i better stop crapping around and go eat cos im really hungry and my stomach is growling angrily at me. till next time peeps!

Sunday, August 29, 2004

WOMAD 2004!

wow! thats the only word that can describe my experience yesterday at fort canning. for the first time in my life i participated along in the event where u can find big names in it! WOMAD-- World Of Music Arts and Dance. Although i think our groups part was quite small but our second part really had the audience dancing man. incredible! i dint have this feeling since my esplanade show with Bedouin Groove. how i just really hope people can notice me by my singging yesterday and some big pepole from the industry taking me to greater heights inb singing. haha! dream on.. that wont happen in our lovely country Singapore. bleah~

there was two sets of performance that PA had to create. the first set was okay lah.. rather dull cos the crowd was not in yet. but after the famous local group "Wicked aura" performed audience stated strooling in to our side. actually the was nothing for me to do in the 2nd set cos my singing was only for the first set. so i was just wastched he second half. then when it was over the organiser asked to played something cos the set finished too quickly. it was then yaziz called me and ask me to sing that two songs.. "Desert rose" and "Jaleo" and HAHA! no werds can describe how i feel. just happy that the audience really appreciate it. weeeee~

hmm actually im back from a show at Victoria Conert hall. vocal academy show. we from De`lima performed to represent the malay side of traditional music. quite boring actually but made some frens there. thay can sing. mostly opera style. but the frens i made is actually around my age. one from NTU and the other a chinal gerl or shud i rather say doll. almost perfect for a china gerl. she really looked like a doll. harry went gaga over her.. haha! really gaga~ harry if ur reading this, remember what i said.. DREAM ON! hehe.. but overall was quite fun lah. long time never perform for concert show with GOOD micing system and get a little money at the same time. *claps*

ok lah sorry i dint update my blog for a long time. sometimes too bz somtimes too tired but i dunno y somehow feel this is the rite time. hmm.. tomoro maybe wacthing Al beduoin at womad. maybe ah. not too sure if i can get in free. tomoro also considered heavy day. tot i can unwind. hmm nevamind ill just go on till i cant. no complaining! hmm i hope next time if i got similar performance like that, all my frens who had never seen me performed in that way can watch me... hehe! ok lah gang til next time i update~

countdown to harry ns: 16 DAYS!! (including today 29th of august)

Monday, August 23, 2004

Complain!

ok here i am again. not to complain but to stop complaining about things and looking at the brightehr side of things. some ppl say i always complain wether it be in my blog or anywhere.. but.. thats my part time job what. what can i do~~ aiyoi.

boring for me at werk today nothing to. lets see what shud i talk about. maybe about past saturday where i went down to east coast park for nadia's birthday pit. ok lah lots of food met up with lots off ppl and ust slack around. slack till nothing to do then we played soccer three am in the morning. haha~ long time no play soccer now my body aching all over. ya i noe im fat cos of not exercising for a long time. i will do something about it. shudup u! haha~

hmm there is some problems which i rather keep to myself which if i tell others it can never be solved. so by hook or crook i have to settle the problems myself. i will do it and i must do it.

this week i will be having lots of practise and trngs. for dikir barat competition not the finals but another one. for womad and for De`lima's show next weekend. im not complaining but just telling u ppl okay~ dont get me wrong.. ish. k lah gtg for now.. update later in the week. bz lah babes~ -gone-

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Tiring Week.

okay.. let me start off with last saturday's east coast outing. hmmm.. evrone brought their food from home and some bought some last minit food at mama shop.. haha kinda cute. we came and joked around with each other. some even started jumping into the sea early noon.. damn! dont they noe its hot... haiyo. then we chatted and chatted and chatted till its was too boring. then someone suggested we play "dog and bone".. haha like secondary school.. childish but seirously FUN~. but at nite was not fun. went home and sleep!

on sunday we had some dikir barat show at tampines stadium. short sweet one lah. then nite time we watched some RC show next to tampines stadium. it is a national day dinner where wan and fauzi were involved.. so we came down to support them. the thing i dont understand is y must they have national day dinner when national day itself is already over. it alright if its held before national day.. but this is after national day. so pathetic ah Tampines. not the residents of tampines.. the comittee of Tampines.

Monday Aliff came down to my house 12 am in the morning to reformat my stupid com. hmm so trouble some. had to insert his harddisk to transfer all my files to his hardisk the reformat then transfer back. on top of that we had so much trouble in reformating. my com has been "virginated" by Aliff. haha~ nothing inside. only my files. and the only thing on my desktop now is Internet Explorer.. just one pathetic icon. haha! but its much much much fater now when there is no virus and no nothing... like i saud it has been "verginatted". slept at 5 am. bleah........

okay yesterday was quite tiring cos i slept late monday nite. went to work thinking i had to do video shoot for graduating students. but in the end they ask some other ITP students. wah if only i noe ah.. i would have slept longer. then yest nite got OMS training. normal shit. the intensive training have not arrived yet. once it arrives.. like thomas always say "thats it ah!"..

Today morining woke up and rush to school to take photographs of graduants. HAHA some look funny wearing formal. the funier they look the more pictures i took of them. some so touching hug their parents. some abeng cannot tahan wear formal straightaway changed to their abeng suit after getting their cert... tsk tsk.. its like once in a lifetime and u cannot tahan wearing formal for a day? Ah bengs.. such weaklings~. today i have to shoot photographs for 3 graduating sessions. just finished the first one on the morning.. we ate free food... lotsa of food yum2~.. me and shariffa(i hope her name is spelt correctly or else she will shout at me haha!) were eating with important ppl which i dont know who.. all wearing coats and tuxedos. haha so somehow i felt like i was a minister.~ *snort* now imwaiting for the second one.. i had nothing to do so blog lorRRRR.. long time neva blog already.. lazy i guess.. and this blog of mine has been screwing up. dunno y. ok till next time babes~

Friday, August 13, 2004

Boring.

ok here i am again complaining and blabbering nonsense. firstly today is Friday the 13th in case some of you dint noe that. someone reminded me over and over again yesterday. i really dont know what does this day stands for. bad luck? hmmm.. i did encounter something bad on last year's friday the 13th.. but maybe it was just bad coincidence. i dunno what will happen to me today. maybe something good. maybe someone gonan post me few million bucks in my letter box! haha dream on.

ok enough of today... the past few days i had trainings and "kenduri" for those of u who noe what it is. kinda tired cos been starting to sleep late again. and im having chest pains. each time i cough it'll be painful and sometimes i feel like vomiting. haiya.. dunno whats hapenning to my body. maybe need some energiser. evrytime SICK. evrytime Said comes here he complains he is SICK. well too bad if any of u is SICK of hearing that im SICK. anyway im SICK of writing this SICK thing. OKAY OKAY like i said earlier im blabbering nonsense~

ok happy thoughts for tomoro~ yeahoo! going out picnic with bukit batok family~ HAHA! long time no enjoy.. tomoro is the day to tan my fair skin~ haha LIKE AS IF IM FAIR~ all of us bringing food and going to unwind at the beach tomoro yeah~ hope its gonna be fun... tink it will be fun.. i hope most of the ppl there wil be going because the more the merrier what~~~ and Sunday got dikir barat show for some mosque.. i dunno which one is it. charity show. ok lah huh since long time never do charity work. there are alot of needy ppl who needs our help out there. dont neglect them ya ppl~ might never noe one us might be the needy one one day.....

hmm ok today is the third week he is gone.. still miss him as much.. especially when looking at his pictures.. actually my heart aches when im writing this.. i just really miss him.. i still have the thought that he is just away on a long vacation and one day i might be able to see him again.. but reality wise that's not the case.. he is totally gone from the surface of this earth. its hard to explain u noe. its just that .. nevermind. i just never knew that his death will have a great impact on me. just too great.. unexplainable. now, i cant see his face anymore.. only pictures and memories can remind me how he looks like. the memory of him breathing out his last breath.. that memory is just too painful for me too bear.. i sometimes think that what happen at the hospital that fatefull day was just a all bad nitemare and i would wake up from it..........

anyway the picture on the left, first black and white picture.. that's me on the left and he is on the rite. that picture was taken by harry besi's camera (i think) after my esplanade show. that was the last day i saw him stand up and walk around although i heard he needed support on his lower back. he was damn sick that day but he insisted on coming down and watch our show. the last show he saw me perform. he gave us two thumbs up. although in that pain that he had inside, which we could not feel, he still made us laugh the way home. never did stop similing. after that nite.. he was paralyzed. Approximately one and a half months after that he went back to God.

well all i can say Man if you a reading this, i hope u r resting in peace and is safe in God's hand. Al-fateha.. amin.

Azman bin Rahmat (1984-2004)
God loves u more
than i do.
will be missing u.
love u bro.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Weekend

hmm.. How should I begin.. Ok lets start with my show on Sunday.. Not bad.. Considering my first time singing in an opening for a how like that. But was damn tiring because I had to run up the VT a lot of times.. Fun but tiring. The best part was getting the pay~ haha! But then tomorrow 3/4 of it will be gone paying my school fees. damn it! That's how money come and go for me. hmmmm...

anyway yesterday was planned to go out with Keris family to watch fireworks. Cute kan kan kan~ hah! But we missed it.. damn it again! haha!.. Esplanade was so crowded we sat on grass patches facing the sea. Quite ok lah we caught things up,talked cock and ate muffins Nadia brought from her workplace at Coffeee Bean.. yum yum.. But somehow amongst all that happiness I really felt someone was missing.. He was always the happy one.. hmmm... Then went back early and slept late.. So boring rite.. Actually I didn't what to go home that early but all went back home and some were too tired to go out of the house.. Actually abg kenteng fauzi and hani asked me to follow them meet up with THE MAN and eat.. But I felt so awkward lah.. All couples.. So at last I went back home and talk crap with my mother.. And it was really crap.. haha~ then I listened to some recently favorite songs of mine then sleep..

today meet my boss.. sooooooo bloody stuck up~ REPEAT AFTER ME.. BLOODY STUCK UP!! First egoistic man ever landed on SP. And he is full of shit.. Sometimes I just feel like punching his face and making a hole in it so that he will really look like a plant. wanna noe y plant.. Because he has a degree in some plant shit lah.. But he is doing public media relations for SP~ where's the link.. He knows nuts about media~ F*** him up down left rite centre front..

and the icing on the cake... I have not get my pay! Idiot.. Sometimes SP do really suck huh.. But other poly suck harder.. hehe ok lah times up for now *****gone- //

Friday, August 06, 2004

Sickly Bz``

Wow.. The past few days has been hectic for me.. One thing is that I am damn bz this whole week that's y I have been sick these past few days.. Really sick.. On and off.. panadol don't seem to work and I hate wasting my 2 to 3 hours queuing my self up at the polyclinic just to see the doctors for five minutes.. Its gets really damn tiring and irritating..

y am I so bz? Because I got a show coming up this weekend at the Victoria theatre this Sunday. Traditional show lah called "Lagu dan Irama" by Sri Warisan. So I have rehearsals on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday and Saturday... But I dint go on Thursday.. FYP dinner meeting.. On top of that I had practices at OMS on Tuesday and Friday.. And again on top of all that I have to work from 8.30 to 5.30 everyday.. that's y I these few weeks I cannot reach home before 9 to unwind my self.. The earliest I reach home on average is 12.30? hmm.. That explains y I'm having a flu rite now.. But its getting better today.. Thank god.. Sometimes its so damn tirin but what keeps me going on are those ppl who have a busier schedule than me.. So.. ya.. But at the end of my tiring days I still meet my yummy dessert~~ hAhaA!

ok lah people I report to you once i'm free again aite. Anyway its been two weeks since he is gone so.... *prayers*. -Roger And Out-

Monday, August 02, 2004

Done!

finally its done.. and over with! we succeded ingto getting into the finals of Mega Perdana 2004~ oh my god.. such a relieve.,. i think he can now rest in peace.. he was with us on stage yesterday.. during our whole performance.. can feel him sitting beside me like the past competitions when he was alive.. really felt the presence... thats y we did really well i think.. i think that the best performance my team ever did so far.. and im proud of evry single one of my guys.. i think "he" would be proud too..

i think from today i can rest in peace and sleep well shit well eat well but not work well lah~~ cos i have nothing to do at werk.. me and my friends at werk have to find work for ourselves.. idiot rite.. anyway back to yesterdays competition.. after our competition performance.. we had a dedication song for his family.. i created the song in like 5 mins on last fri just so that we cud dedicate the song to his family on sunday..

when the song was played evryone one from my team teared.. his family teared.. even most of the audience who felt us teared along with us.. damn sad... really sad.. i was crying all the way while singing that song.. could not help my self.. like the malay saying " TAK BOLE ANGKAT LAH!!" aiyoi... but after yesterdays performance.. i can feel all the pressure lifted off my shoulder..

hmm ok for now its back to my school/work.. but the will be shows coming up for me.. so will be quite bz.. and have to crack my head on our FINAL set.. and i mean FINAL set.. we r in the finals.. cant help it but be happy~ hehe.. tough but i have to go through it.. for him again~ once again! till next time.. like Mick always say:
*Publish Post*

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