11 more days!
i first started blogging when i first started my attachment. that was nearly 4 months back when shahsa teng teng help me with this blog.. haha thanks ah eh.. neway its going to be the end of my attachment soon. franky speaking i have learnt nothing from this experience except for those office people's different kind of attitutde which some i really like, some i feel like killing. ok i have found new friends.. seen more pretty gerls in sp hah~. but i have learnt really nothing. ok done editing video here and there ya.. but nothing more than that besides getting screwed up by Bernie (Mr Plant) for nothing! Ryan was a nice guy.. he's our supervisior which was then replace by our mr chubby Aaron... now little mouse Celeste. she is a freak.. haha but i dont care.. 11 more days and ill say bye2 to corporate communications~~!i went through alot man during this attachment life. i mean my outside life during this attachment time frame. quarrels can start off without having me to meet my frens for such a long time. people back stabbing behind my back (oh my.. thats so normal).achieving somethings which i never thought i could in the first place. played some shows which i never dreamt of playing like for example.. WOMAD?? oh my.. guest singer.. what a privilage. but thats me living in my evryday life.. some ups some downs.. but the sadest thing happened to me on the 23rd of july 2004... a day i would never forget for the rest of my life.....
it may be irritating for those who read my blog that i keep writing about this. but do i care ? no.. cos i just dont.. nobody knew how he felt, the pain he had inside, the lack of oxygen, half shut eyes, tumour seeping through his rib cage and can be clearly seen by the naked eye. nobody felt his pain. no one.
ur one of the best frens i had in my entire life. we shared evrything. almost evrything. u dint wanna share with me ur pain.. u showed me how strong u were even though ur body was at the most timid stage.. u even made fun about those big needles poking through ur evrywhere on ur timid body.. u lost ur hair.. people made fun of u.. u wud think i felt okay with it cos i was laffing along with u but u were wrong my fren.. deep inside i was always sad for u.. dint wanna show my weakness although others did.. dint wanna show cos i wanted u to be strong even though of ur ilness.. sometimes u do talk about death with me... which i would brush it off.. in fact honestly few weeks before u were going i got a bad feeling that it was gonna be the last few weeks of ur life.. but again i brush that thought off.. i cant cry now cos im fasting.. but my heart is just so shattered the day i lost a fren like u.. till today i can still smiling see u evrywhere and whenever i want to.. but u can never talk back with me.. u cud only afford to smile.. in dikir ur dream was to reach the finals of perdana.. but u were not with us till the end of the maiden voyange.... but we felt u were with us on stage dutring the semis to help us win... we did for u man.. we entered finals.. but i think winning was abit too far for us at the moment.. ur sister wrote for u a little something in ur bday in the guestbook.. u went away just two weeks before ur bday.. hu wud have tot.. they (our family) had oredi planned ur bday party when u were going to be discharged.. but u dint.. sometimes when i step out of my house , how i wish i could call bobb and he asked him to follow me along visit u at ur hse/ hospital.. but.. how i just wished..u wud think that i have forgetton about u.. this coming friday will already be 13 weeks ur frens, family have not seen u.. next saturday will be ur 100th day away.. .. i just cant take it when ur mum just come crying to me and hugs me.. it really breaks me down.. just cant see her cry.. it just reminds me of the moemnt u took ur last breath while holding my hand.. that memory will be at the back of my head for a very long time to come... one day i will join u.. ur family and frens will join u deep down there.. but its up to go God to decide when. i will always pray for u my fren. always... just sad u cant be joining us for this years hari raya...
happy fasting people.
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